Isn't She Beautiful?

That is Mount Prau. The best mount I ever climbed cause I never climb any other mount before. For a beginner 4 hours hiking to reach the high was a something great. Did not fall into the cliff was a gratitude. Really proud of myself and promise not to climb it again. It was so exhausted yet fun.

 

A Sadness Will Always Be A Sadness

When I get sad, all I want to do is become more sad. I pitying myself, I cried for myself. Listening sad song repeatedly, and forcing myself to be more even sadder. I like being in a sorrow that I made by and for my only own self. It isn't pathetic I guess. Cause the only way I could enjoy my life is when I'm sad and when I'm alone. Everyone has their own way to enjoy the life, right? Even me.

Sometimes I imagine myself dying. Buried in the ground. Seeing nothing, just dark. And lonely. Would people miss me? Would they going to cry over me? Or even they would forgetting me? Or perhaps they would happy? I always wonder it.

I used to listen Sia Furler's song, My Love. It always got me, I love being blue.

Hari Ini Sangat Sibuk

I've run a blood-glucose-diet since about 3 years ago. I don't allowed to eat junk foods, instant noodle, soda, and seasonal fruit, don't have idea why seasonal fruits. Those are mango, jackfruit, mangosteen and so much more. But I thought it because some seasonal fruits are plant chemically, or perhaps the sugar level on seasonal fruits are quite high. Entahlah never do research on it before. I did it, seriously. But sometimes on cheating day I eat junk food and instant noodle. I ate mango yesterday, I can't deny. It was sooo gooood and sweet. That's my guilty pleasure, I won't eat it for at least few months later then.

I should have been so busy and hectic doing my home tasks for exam next Thursday. There are so much tasks that want me to finish, but I got no idea where to start. So... I did DIY to refresh my mind. Then I made a bracelet. It's pink with black pendants.

Dah Akuh Mah Apah Atuh

I was watching tv when mum ask me for a talk. She randomly said that "I prefer to comment on photos than a loooong wisdom words that written by my friends on facebook." while she scrolling on her screen phone, I sure she just checking up her facebook home. And I asked her, "Why mum? I thought that people at your age are more interested at that kind of wisdom words, that very long and boring, mmm mainly for people on my age." "Not really for me. Mmm the actual reason is simply, cause I'm too lazy to read it all." Oh well, I expected she would replied my question diplomatically.

Yes, at some point I merely same like her. Sometimes I found myself too lazy for reading, I would feel sleepy and for often yawning. I did double tap a photo on instagram, yet I didn't read the caption finishly. And sometimes I post photos on my instagram without any caption or tagging name or place or song, blankly, just a photo. I don't write much, I don't like writting. And yea it's been so long I don't write status on my facebook or post something, even change my profile picture. I even dont write much on my blog for this year I only posted few. Yes, I'm overly lazy to complie the letters into words, words into sentences, then finally weaving it into paragraphs. My vocabulary is crappy also bad and messed up. Lol. Pardon me Lord, I'm only a human.

I oftenly found some photos mostly at instagram that having a lengthy caption but it doesn't match with the photo. Like they post a landscape photo but they write a song lyric on it caption box. Sometimes a super long sentence, sometimes just junk hashtags. They perhaps write it in purpose, to show their feelings or what but I still don't get it. People write for a long caption but it isn't fits with the photo, for what? It was actually like a poetry. Ah, I'm sorry, I don't mean to judge loh. For advice, why you not write it on a blog, dude? Dude Herlino (?). Sakjane yo terserah sih, kan gur ngomong wae. That's probably one of my why I don't really like to read the caption. The second is people write it with sophisticated words until I can hardly understand. My tutor once told me that he really sure I'm a smart (it only to make me no offended) but somehow I look stupid when talking. He was so harsh. He told me it because I do rarely reading, so I have lack of words. It makes me hard to explain what I want to talk. It's true. So I don"t feel offended. That's make me look stupid. But it's okay, I don't feel any burden cause this less-of-reading-things. For now at least.

A good photo without caption won't explain anything exactly, it would only give not leave you an impression, yes, just good cause the photo is indeed good visually but you don't know what is it and what story behind the photos. So please to write the caption properly, and probably shortly.

This writing is muchly explained that I was a person who only wants a delight for her self. Komentar tapi sendirinya lupa apa yang telah ia lakukan hanyalah sama dengan yang orang lain lakukan. Manusia, ada lupa dan khilafnya.

Yesterday, I took a walk with my bf. We went Solo by a morning train, Joglo Express. A nice train, and it's a new cause the passenger seats still wrapped in plastic, clean and so comfort. But it was quite expensive for 45 minutes rail-trip. I should take pramex next time. Anyway this is his first time ever going to Solo by train, and it's my second time since for a long time ago. I'm so excited, we got lost. Actually he just accompanied me, cause I'm not that brave to catch the train alone.

Menjadi Mahasiswa Periklanan di Kampus yang Baru Saja Negeri

Ah... This week feels plenty heavy, very much take home tasks and aaaah.. praktikum produksi iklan tv dan radio harus bye maximal. I should inputting it again next year. Geez. I should be ready to see my first E* in cbis. It's okay, my parents won't ask me for a good ipk. Well, it's actually fun being an advertising student in my college. Kuliahnya shantay banget dan menurutku asik. Melihat anak jurnal dan PR yang tugas akhirnya tidak karuan banyaknya membuat memilih advertising sebagai konsentrasi adalah hal yang paling bijaksana yang pernah saya lakukan. Saking santainya, mau bikin tugas analisis iklan cetak dan televisi aja malah jadi bikin .gif kayak gini...

People Will Stay Okay As Long As They Do Sharing

I always thought that I am the most peculiar kind of human. I dont know. I spoke haltingly, it's sometimes bugging my own self, I look like a talking-fish. Then, I wonder why most people take my jokes seriously, seroiusly? I am a slow response type of person, at anything, although I know the answer is. I like to walk in high pace but not running, it's weird because my weight. I like to imagine things, even at a little and unnoticed and probably no one has thought about it. Like "why people can do anything for love, where their logic?" and "if doing suicide isn't a sin, would you do it? why?" and "Is living hypocritically would make you looked like a bad person? but it's needed sometimes" actually that what I think currently. And yes there are still a lot questions spinning around my head needing the answers. But I keep it all just in my head since no one could understand my words. I know they are not really interested with it cause it is not so cool topic to be talked, they mostly just love to talk and comment about other's life secret and sometimes people's ootd. Yeah. Which I love to talk about it too, hahaha.

Well. I only talk about my life things with my mom and sometimes my boyfriend. They both are a good listener so far about that kind of topic. Most is daily life activity. I sometimes just need a person who able listen to me, like yeah listen to me with no comment, no judge, just simply understand what I say. I usually having a bed time story with my mom, I always tell her about everything.What I have done during the day, what I ate at lunch time, even that what I saw during my way back home. It's random. And she sometimes share about her past story. I love my mom so much.

Today I met my boyfriend, he just back from Karimun Jawa after 10 days adventuring. I used to ask him to tell me his story. He told me about how people life there. There is no electricity in daylight, sleeping in a house which only 2 meters from the beach, a men who merried a ship (I will tell you when you ask, cause it's quite long story). a poor and cutie seasick dog lol, and a guy who swim across the sea to Karimun for only 2 hours without life jacket. God. And he still alive. I wonder how if there is a shark and bite him.

I could feel happy and good when I can share and listen. Ah yeah, you will keep it yourself okay as long as you want to listen while you talk. I dont know what's the point of my post but being a person who wants to listen is sometimes hard cause talking is easier than listening.

However, You Are Still Stunning

Jogja nowadays is awesome, I sarcasm. Tugu become more crowded. A lot cafe, mega malls, hotels and kind of that place built. People looks happy to spend their holiday here, but I sometimes dont like with it. When holiday season come, car increase a lot and everywhere getting stuck. Ewh. However, Jogja would always be a wonderful place to live. A good and tasty food, low cost of living, how the social life works, and if you want to go from a place to other place you dont have to spend much time. Oiya, lately Jogja is fully full filled with many cultural events. I really like and appreciate it by attending the events. And seems like people like it too, selaluuuu penuuuuh and desek-desekan. Few days ago, me and mas Hendra attended Bedog Art Fest. That's my third time attend the event. Still awesome and dazzling me. It's a contemporary dance performances. I dont really understand with the motions of it's dance, but I was impressed with the background of that place. River and a looooot candles, looks like firefly.

A Goodbye

I never know how it feels to be left and when it became forever. A death, mortality. Sounds horrific and tragic. Few days ago a brother, a friend, a person who is so kind hearted, funny, and humble left us forever. He leaving us without a goodbye, he passed away. And now I know how it feels. It deeply hurts, so heartbreaking. I may not that close with him, even we have not much memories together. But it quite make me feel so sad and shed my tears. He is a good person, everybody love him. Fotkom are mourning. We lost him, we will truly miss his presence, his jokes, his laugh. All the human on this earth at eventually will die. It could be wherever and whenever. We all actually are living for waiting our turn. Rest in peace, dek rooni. You wont be forgotten.

Flowers

Buka bersama adalah rutinitas banget tiap tahun di bulan puasa. Sama temen waktu sd, temen waktu smp, temen waktu sma and college friends, sebenernya konsepnya kayak reunian gitu. Tapi ngga reunian juga sih, soalnya beberapa masih sering banget ketemu. Tahun ini agak merasa excited karena 2 tahun belakangan ngga pernah ikut buka bersama, tahun lalu karena hampir sebulan liburan dan bekerja (I actually helped my dad). Penasaran sama muka-mukanya. Jadi tahun ini disempetin buat mendengarkan adzan maghrib sama-sama mereka (paan). Kalo ketemu ya gitu, ngobrol ngga jelas, ngakak-ngakak. Ngobrolin masa lalu, ejek-ejekan, dan tentang percintaan waktu sekolah. Hahahaha. Kemarin sore waktu buka puasa sama temen smp mmm beberapa ngga berubah. Masih kayak dulu, atau pandanganku tentang mereka dari dulu sampai sekarang tidak berubah walaupun sebenernya mereka keliatan berubah. Entahlah.. Sebenernya hanya itu-itu saja yang datang tiap tahunnya, aku liat foto buka puasa smp tahun lalu. Dan kemudian di tahun ini mereka yang datang tahun lalu ngga dateng. Kemudian meremen pada obrolan tentang beberapa orang teman sekelasku dulu yang sudah menikah. Yes, nikah. Dua puluh tahun, 2014, eranya para jomblo dan sudah menikah. Bahkan punya anak. Gila. Ngga pernah kebayang buat membangun hubungan seserius menikah di umur 20 tahun. Kenapa ya? Ya menurutku 20 tahun terlalu muda buat punya suami dan anak, dan disibukkan bayar telfon listrik air masak berdaster dan ya kind of wifely-things. Aneh liatnya. Menurutku 20 tahun itu ya 20 tahun. Melakukan hal-hal yang kayak dilakuin sama anak-anak 20 tahun kebanyakan. Atau aku yang selalu berpikiran naif tentang kehidupan ya. Ah tapi being naive nowadays masih dibutuhkan lah. Although I'm not that naive and being hypocrite instead at some points. God, 20 tahun buat beberapa orang (termasuk aku) adalah masa-masa bingung. Bingung kenapa? Ngga tau, pokoknya bingung aja. Kalo aku sih 20 tahun itu, jalan-jalan. Kemana aja, sama siapa aja, ngga repot mikir tanggung jawab (hehe). Liat pemandangan, liat sunset, kemah, selfie, becandaan, foto-foto, nonton film and many other thing. Kalo aku, 20 tahun liat bunga bunga aja. Terus jalan-jalan sama pacar and taking selfie photos with bestfriends.

A 21 Hours Vacation

It's a 21 hours of vacation! Jogja-Kediri-Jogja, less than a day. We went to Kediri for social service actually, delivering some donations. But for me it was a social service and escape, mmm. Eh we found a  building that is look like Arc de Triomphe in France. Ahahahahahaha!

Nothing

Being inferior is really irritating me. Yea, that's my whole life problem. I'm not good at being nice. It's really hard for me to make a friend... I'm more kind of person who like walking through the coridor with earphones plugged on my ears and looked down along the way and being cool and wishing that coridor is empty. So I don't have to say hi to anyone. Okay, I now decided to choose adv as my concentration. I do love it, but I have no friends at class. I hate being early and should waiting the lecturer come and have no one to talk while waiting and just playing flappy bird. Mmm the main problem is because of me. They actually tried to say hi and make a topic or at least asked me about little thing. But it's me again that could not respon it well. And always going fail then end up with nothing, like this conversation was already done since my first respon. Yes, it's me again who never tried to make any conversation being that exciting. No wonder, I have no friends to share.  Maybe they realized how pathetic tried to talk to me. My second problem is I always feel guilt at anything I had done. Like overthinking of something and would worrying it all the time of my life. When that guilt moments randomly come into my brain, I could suddenly being weird. Honestly, it's very very very annoying. I don't even know why this could happened to me. Third is I'm the most quick-tempered kind of person in this world. And irritability. And yeah that's why I have less friends. They not enjoy being around me. I make my friendship-life going worse. I have no idea why I write it... I verily need a talk with human. Not a laptop or cellphone. *so sad*

Dream Vacation

I was spent my val's day at the highest village in java (kata faiz sih gitu), Dieng. With my mates. It's actually our dream vacation since a long time ago. And we've done it at couples day ago, it took a very long time right to make it into real? The first reason to make it happened is because now faiz and firman could drive a car. And second third fourth and the next reasons are because we've grown and wanting a vacation like college-kid. Yeah. We rented a house for a night, we did sleepover, barbeque, cooking, laughed all day loooong, watched horror movie, climbed the peak, single party (kecuali rakhma yo, tapi dianggep wae). I pretty happy. Considering I was looking for a "sweet escape" lately, and they've filled it. Successfully. Though it's just a day... Thanks guys for make our dream vacation came true. And being my sweetest friends since my first day in junior high school (gak boong deh hari pertama di kelas emang udah ngelompok). Xoxo.