And I find a lot of new things when I was experimenting and when having a talk with people. I really adore smart people. Like they could stole my fully attention. How they were talk, or when they pull out their own opinions and make an argue cleverly. Good. Then I start to applying my weird ideas into real. Ah... I realized that I was a bit changed. I began to accept the otherness that is going around me. The most difficult thing in life is against yourself, but yeah I did it. At least I begin to try. I'm trying to build the "atmosphere", starting the conversation which I never did it before. It is no longer awkward. Myself deserve rewards. Haha. Something good comes through a long process.